Planning a Unique Proposal

The Press-Enterprise, 2/9/2007
By Amanda Strindberg

"Will you marry me?"

Valentine's Day is the second most popular day after Christmas to utter this life-changing question. And for many men, it's one of the most stressful events in their lives.

"Men get overwhelmed coming up with the perfect idea," said Jason R. Rich, author of "Will You Marry Me? Popping the Question with Romance and Style."

Even when the "yes" is expected, they want to create the perfect moment hoping to satisfy their significant others' expectations, he said.

But this can be a difficult task. Women have been conditioned to dream about this day since they were children, and often the proposal doesn't live up to the fantasy, Rich said.

An estimated 85 percent of women say the proposal was less romantic than they had hoped, Rich said.

Rich's advice: personalization.

"It should be something sentimental for both people," he said. So guys, if your gal is not a sports fan, forget about doing it on the JumboTron at the game.

Brian Kosobucki, owner of Marriage-Proposal-Ideas.com, said a few things can make the difference between an OK proposal and a great one.

"I think personalization and revisiting fun/significant memories is one thing that is often overlooked," he said. "A proposal doesn't have to be perfect, but it should show your effort and love for your partner."

Still stuck? You're not alone.

That's why brothers Skip and Steve Robbins, of the engagement ring store chain Robbins Bros., developed the Perfect Proposal planning service. The free service was recently launched at all Robbins Bros. stores to help relieve pre-engagement pressure.

"Most guys don't have a lot of places to go for this kind of advice," said Steve Robbins, CEO of the company.

And with people getting married later, the bar has been raised, Robbins said.

"People have experienced more and have higher expectations," Robbins said.

But the stores' in-house concierges are trained to help. They offer suggestions to fit the couple and can help make an idea become reality by coordinating with various vendors.

The concierges have arranged private catered dinners with musicians, helped create a giant rose petal heart at the beach, planned surprise trips and assisted with on-air radio and TV proposals.

"It's all about romance," Robbins said.

But relationship expert Laurie Puhn, author of "Instant Persuasion: How to Change Your Words to Change Your Life," said not to underestimate the power of simplicity.

A woman would rather it happens sooner, than have an elaborate proposal, she said.

The meaning is in the commitment," Puhn said. "She's not more likely to say yes because of an extravagant proposal. And if she is, you better hope she says no."

But do get down on your knee, Puhn said.

"It's a visual reflection that this conversation is different from any of the others you've had before," she said.

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